he debate has raged ever since the invention of the toilet paper roll holder, a time when it was no longer considered “decent’ to simply tuck it under your arm or set it on a shelf. A better solution was demanded by the people and they were answered. Thousands of years later we still use toilet paper roll holders, now available in plastic, metal and other various substances. Styles of holders range from simple to elaborate, from the plastic spring-loaded roll to the musical air-freshening roll.
Regardless of what paper is used, for some roll holders there is indeed a right and wrong way of using it. (The type of paper used is another debate, separate from the roll holder debate.) While some may argue that it ultimately doesn’t matter for ANY roll holder, this article will hopefully correct this grave error in judgment.
Why does it matter?
What most people fail to realize is that if the paper is brushing against the back of the holder or the wall it’s attached to, germs that almost never get wiped away (who else, other than OCD sufferers, really takes the time to wipe down the holder each time a new roll is put in?) now have a direct route to your ass by way of attaching to the paper. When you think you’re wiping your ass (or other areas) clean, you’re actually smearing them with more germs. These germs can cause the growth of strange black hairs, stinky bits that dirty your underwear and in some cases, a fatal strain of swollen ass disease which causes you to fart blood.
As well as for health reasons, properly hung paper will ensure ease of use and in some cases, reduce the amount of paper used per visit. Late night visits are also easier to endure when your half-awake brain goes to instruct your hands to grab paper, as the paper will flow easily towards the user and cause less stress.